This morning as I sit awaiting the hustle and bustle of the office, the ringing telephone, clicking keys, rustling papers... I am reminded of how often I complain about mornings coming too early... although I am more of a morning person now than I was in college (a steady stream of caffiene helps).
I never take stock of the good things that are in my life... those five minutes of silence before everyone files into work, where it's just me and my thoughts (and sometimes the smell of carpet cleaner)... I take them for granted.
There is an older hymn that reads, "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done. Count your blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."
As I sat here, enjoying the silence and my breakfast biscuits (I was sad that I had no tea) but I was struck with the number of little blessings I had encountered already before the work day even began... I was alive, I have a job to go to (which lately has been a thorn in my side rather than a blessing)... those sorts of things that remind us that God loves us.
Instead of saying... Oh it's Monday... why are they always so bad? Take stock of what you have, what God has blessed you with... even on the "worst" days, we can always work to find a silver lining.
Have a great day and know you are loved!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Silence is golden... duct tape is silver...
The past few days, I have learned very quickly that silence is sometimes the best answer to eventually awkward situations. Most of the time that I open my mouth, I find that I shove my foot in up to my knee... and that's only to breathe.
I've been learning the lesson of holding my tongue (Slightly less uncomfortable than learning patience)... and what a hard lesson it is... James 3 explores this idea of taming our tongues. One of the illustrations that is used is a bit that is put into a horses mouth.
When I was 8, I owned a Quarter horse named T.C. (Taffy's Cash Bar). He was a gorgeous animal that stood close to 17 hands and towered over me... he was a rather calm horse and I loved him. When it came time to ride him, I would saddle him up... and then came the bridle. Part of the bridle, the bit, goes in the horses mouth. The purpose of this piece of metal is to control the horse... as it is connected to the reins. When the rider pulls the reins to the right, the horse turns right. When they pull left, the horse will turn left... you get the idea.
James 3:3-12 reads: When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
I always find my toes being stepped on when I read this passage... James has this way of spelling everything out, no frills, no fanciful words... just what you need to heard, how you need to hear it. He even provides handy illustrations in case you're stubbornly thick like me sometimes.
I look at it this way... just like horses, we need a bridle to guide our steps, turn us in the right direction and keep us out of trouble... God's spirit is that bridle... we should be seeking his direction, asking Him to guide our steps, our actions and most definitely, our words... the tongue may be a small part of our body... but it can cause the largest problems.
Hope you are having a blessed Monday!
Photo credit: Untitled by: Steven Lilley used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs license
I've been learning the lesson of holding my tongue (Slightly less uncomfortable than learning patience)... and what a hard lesson it is... James 3 explores this idea of taming our tongues. One of the illustrations that is used is a bit that is put into a horses mouth.
When I was 8, I owned a Quarter horse named T.C. (Taffy's Cash Bar). He was a gorgeous animal that stood close to 17 hands and towered over me... he was a rather calm horse and I loved him. When it came time to ride him, I would saddle him up... and then came the bridle. Part of the bridle, the bit, goes in the horses mouth. The purpose of this piece of metal is to control the horse... as it is connected to the reins. When the rider pulls the reins to the right, the horse turns right. When they pull left, the horse will turn left... you get the idea.
James 3:3-12 reads: When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
I always find my toes being stepped on when I read this passage... James has this way of spelling everything out, no frills, no fanciful words... just what you need to heard, how you need to hear it. He even provides handy illustrations in case you're stubbornly thick like me sometimes.
I look at it this way... just like horses, we need a bridle to guide our steps, turn us in the right direction and keep us out of trouble... God's spirit is that bridle... we should be seeking his direction, asking Him to guide our steps, our actions and most definitely, our words... the tongue may be a small part of our body... but it can cause the largest problems.
Hope you are having a blessed Monday!
Photo credit: Untitled by: Steven Lilley used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs license
Monday, January 14, 2013
My God, pop culture and me...
I'm a movie quoter... I admit it... not always apart from the film either. If I've seen the movie enough times, I begin quoting (or singing along with) the film along with the actors. This annoys a lot of people and I have to watch myself if someone has not seen the movie... I don't want to spoil it for them.
I'm also a crier... movies, songs, if it touches me, I can't help but cry sometimes.
I have found that more often than not, pop culture has influenced a blog, a Bible study or parallels to the attributes of God. This is when I sit back and marvel at the God of the Universe.
There are many of the posts on this blog that reference songs, movies or TV shows... and I have a feeling that there will be many more (as I write this, there is a thought on the Lorax percolating in the back of my mind).
For me, this is a inspirational playground... music is a vital part of my day while I am at work... soundtracks are constantly playing while I write and at night, some of the best ideas are presented while I am working with a movie on in the background... a line or scene will pop out at me when I least expect it.
We are all of us unique with different abilities and personalities... it is the very fabric of our world. If we are each different, we each have a role to play in the world... there are researchers, pastors, salesman, writers, artists, singers... each of us has a role that we play in life with passions, goals and dreams... a passion of mine includes pop culture... I love digging around for meaning and truth in movies, music and books... it's who I am... I can't tell you how to complete an algebraic equation and I can't tell you what chemicals to mix to get a certain reaction (unless you want something melted by accident... then I'm your girl). I know my strengths and I know what areas I was not gifted in... and I stick to what I'm good at... pop culture, writing and artsy type things... combine those and you have a pretty fun past time... which I'm praying will one day become my career, if God wills it that is...
Yesterday at church, our pastor started a new sermon series entitled: What are you waiting for? and the question caught me off guard as I am always making excuses for why I'm not really doing anything with my writing like, I'm waiting on God to open the right doors, or my personal favorite... maybe this isn't what God wants me to do... the discouraging words pass through my lips before I have the courage to dispose of them.
On January 2nd of this year, I found myself embarking on the journey of chasing kites. It has opened my eyes to something... I am a lover of movies, music and all things British... I'm an introvert with a big dream of writing and someday getting over my social phobia and becoming a *gulp* speaker (you'd think with a degree in performance that I would love the spotlight... yeah, not so much the case)... there are others out there who share that love and who get me... but, there are also those who don't share my love for Tolkien, Sci-fi, mythbusters and Dr. Who that will not even take a second glance at my writing... but I'm not writing for and of them... my writing is for God, to be used by God...
C.S. Lewis wrote in his God on the Docks: “I believe that any Christian who is qualified to write a good popular book on any science may do much more good by that than by any directly apologetic work. … What we want is not more little books about Christianity, but more little books by Christians on other subjects.”
I have to agree with Lewis on this... there are plenty of great Christian speakers that reach people by the thousands... it is for this reason that I look up to Beth Moore... she not only speaks the truth of God, but she presents it with a down to earth approach. She knows that it is through God that she is reaching all these women for the Kingdom of God... She has a passion for women and she is relatable. We need more Christians like that... willing to approach things a little more unconventionally... make analogies (like Stephen Shumate's Cars and Christianity) that are easy to understand, present the gospel through music or movies... through the writings of Jane Austen or Tolkien... the possibilities are endless. God met us where we were and changed us... why can't we meet people where they are at? It might bring a very different response...
Over the past two weeks, I've discovered that my passion is for God, reaching the lost through unconventional methods and pop culture. As I stand on the edge of what seems to be a very scary height, I am presented with the question... "What are you waiting for?" and my answer is this: I am afraid... but if I let fear be the pull in my life, I will always be living on the sidelines, I will always be frustrated by my lack of movement and direction.
Taking a deep breath, I let the words of I John 4:18 wash over me and I hand my dreams over to God and finally surrender my fear, my frustration and my impatience... *gulp*
I'm also a crier... movies, songs, if it touches me, I can't help but cry sometimes.
I have found that more often than not, pop culture has influenced a blog, a Bible study or parallels to the attributes of God. This is when I sit back and marvel at the God of the Universe.
There are many of the posts on this blog that reference songs, movies or TV shows... and I have a feeling that there will be many more (as I write this, there is a thought on the Lorax percolating in the back of my mind).
For me, this is a inspirational playground... music is a vital part of my day while I am at work... soundtracks are constantly playing while I write and at night, some of the best ideas are presented while I am working with a movie on in the background... a line or scene will pop out at me when I least expect it.
We are all of us unique with different abilities and personalities... it is the very fabric of our world. If we are each different, we each have a role to play in the world... there are researchers, pastors, salesman, writers, artists, singers... each of us has a role that we play in life with passions, goals and dreams... a passion of mine includes pop culture... I love digging around for meaning and truth in movies, music and books... it's who I am... I can't tell you how to complete an algebraic equation and I can't tell you what chemicals to mix to get a certain reaction (unless you want something melted by accident... then I'm your girl). I know my strengths and I know what areas I was not gifted in... and I stick to what I'm good at... pop culture, writing and artsy type things... combine those and you have a pretty fun past time... which I'm praying will one day become my career, if God wills it that is...
Yesterday at church, our pastor started a new sermon series entitled: What are you waiting for? and the question caught me off guard as I am always making excuses for why I'm not really doing anything with my writing like, I'm waiting on God to open the right doors, or my personal favorite... maybe this isn't what God wants me to do... the discouraging words pass through my lips before I have the courage to dispose of them.
On January 2nd of this year, I found myself embarking on the journey of chasing kites. It has opened my eyes to something... I am a lover of movies, music and all things British... I'm an introvert with a big dream of writing and someday getting over my social phobia and becoming a *gulp* speaker (you'd think with a degree in performance that I would love the spotlight... yeah, not so much the case)... there are others out there who share that love and who get me... but, there are also those who don't share my love for Tolkien, Sci-fi, mythbusters and Dr. Who that will not even take a second glance at my writing... but I'm not writing for and of them... my writing is for God, to be used by God...
C.S. Lewis wrote in his God on the Docks: “I believe that any Christian who is qualified to write a good popular book on any science may do much more good by that than by any directly apologetic work. … What we want is not more little books about Christianity, but more little books by Christians on other subjects.”
I have to agree with Lewis on this... there are plenty of great Christian speakers that reach people by the thousands... it is for this reason that I look up to Beth Moore... she not only speaks the truth of God, but she presents it with a down to earth approach. She knows that it is through God that she is reaching all these women for the Kingdom of God... She has a passion for women and she is relatable. We need more Christians like that... willing to approach things a little more unconventionally... make analogies (like Stephen Shumate's Cars and Christianity) that are easy to understand, present the gospel through music or movies... through the writings of Jane Austen or Tolkien... the possibilities are endless. God met us where we were and changed us... why can't we meet people where they are at? It might bring a very different response...
Over the past two weeks, I've discovered that my passion is for God, reaching the lost through unconventional methods and pop culture. As I stand on the edge of what seems to be a very scary height, I am presented with the question... "What are you waiting for?" and my answer is this: I am afraid... but if I let fear be the pull in my life, I will always be living on the sidelines, I will always be frustrated by my lack of movement and direction.
Taking a deep breath, I let the words of I John 4:18 wash over me and I hand my dreams over to God and finally surrender my fear, my frustration and my impatience... *gulp*
Thursday, January 10, 2013
If I only had the nerve... taking chances to dream
Taking a risk in the hopes of a favorable outcome...
How often do we take chances? and I'm not talking the gambling with your life, stupid chances... I'm talking deep down, hard core, following your dream chances.
We were made to dream... after all, we were created in the image of the most spectacular dreamer of all... God. I like to think of God as a dreamer with a vivid imagination, after all, He created the world in seven days, he created us, and he created the duckbill platypus for goodness sake!
It's ten days into the Kite Project and I am realizing that I don't take enough risks... and no I won't be jumping out of a plane or swimming with sharks anytime soon (I'm not crazy, well, not that crazy... well, I don't have a death wish, let's put it that way)... I'm just saying that my lack of confidence seems to hold in check the belief in myself that I can dream God-sized dreams.
It's weird how when God wants to get something through my thick skull, he just starts repeating himself (lately it's something akin to a child poking me in my ribs saying Sarah, sarah, sarah, SARAH!!!!)... the twitter feed about God sized dreams, the facebook posts in The Kite Project about dreaming big and the successes so far... and then to top it off, my pastor will be starting a series "What are you waiting for?"... He then wrote this as a hint to what we'll be studying... Do you ever say, "I'm just not sure about God's timing", "I'm waiting on the right door to open", or "Things just don't feel right". This sermon is for you.
Aw shoot... just when I though that I could maybe back off and glide through the next few months... not so much the case. God has some amazing plans for this life, so who am I to question, slack off or give up when God hasn't given up on me. I find that when I make the excuse that God size dreams are impossible... I'm always hit with the verse that with God, all things are possible... and then I'm reminded of this: Our God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20.
Ok, I hear you God!
There is an episode of Doctor Who where they go to visit Vincent Van Gogh (portrayed by the brilliant Tony Curran), and At the end of the episode, the Doctor takes him to the future where there is a gallery full of him works to show him that his work amounted to something in the world. He takes in the people who have flocked to see his works, and are inspired by his paintings. As Van Gogh listens to the art critic talk about his command of color and the ecstatic beauty of his paintings he took in the wonder and impact of his life on others. And as I sat there bawling over this beautiful scene, and its beautiful allegory to our own lives... Every step, every chance, every dream realized... we are walking toward a time when we can look back and truly know that we did all we could to follow the dreams that God put into our hearts. We may not see the impact on others, but our dreams matter... those chances we take might not land us in the history books... but they do matter and we shouldn't be afraid to take the chances that God puts in front of us.
Time for us to be intentional about our lives! To be cliche... this isn't a dress rehearsal.
Have a blessed day!
How often do we take chances? and I'm not talking the gambling with your life, stupid chances... I'm talking deep down, hard core, following your dream chances.
We were made to dream... after all, we were created in the image of the most spectacular dreamer of all... God. I like to think of God as a dreamer with a vivid imagination, after all, He created the world in seven days, he created us, and he created the duckbill platypus for goodness sake!
It's ten days into the Kite Project and I am realizing that I don't take enough risks... and no I won't be jumping out of a plane or swimming with sharks anytime soon (I'm not crazy, well, not that crazy... well, I don't have a death wish, let's put it that way)... I'm just saying that my lack of confidence seems to hold in check the belief in myself that I can dream God-sized dreams.
It's weird how when God wants to get something through my thick skull, he just starts repeating himself (lately it's something akin to a child poking me in my ribs saying Sarah, sarah, sarah, SARAH!!!!)... the twitter feed about God sized dreams, the facebook posts in The Kite Project about dreaming big and the successes so far... and then to top it off, my pastor will be starting a series "What are you waiting for?"... He then wrote this as a hint to what we'll be studying... Do you ever say, "I'm just not sure about God's timing", "I'm waiting on the right door to open", or "Things just don't feel right". This sermon is for you.
Aw shoot... just when I though that I could maybe back off and glide through the next few months... not so much the case. God has some amazing plans for this life, so who am I to question, slack off or give up when God hasn't given up on me. I find that when I make the excuse that God size dreams are impossible... I'm always hit with the verse that with God, all things are possible... and then I'm reminded of this: Our God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20.
Ok, I hear you God!
There is an episode of Doctor Who where they go to visit Vincent Van Gogh (portrayed by the brilliant Tony Curran), and At the end of the episode, the Doctor takes him to the future where there is a gallery full of him works to show him that his work amounted to something in the world. He takes in the people who have flocked to see his works, and are inspired by his paintings. As Van Gogh listens to the art critic talk about his command of color and the ecstatic beauty of his paintings he took in the wonder and impact of his life on others. And as I sat there bawling over this beautiful scene, and its beautiful allegory to our own lives... Every step, every chance, every dream realized... we are walking toward a time when we can look back and truly know that we did all we could to follow the dreams that God put into our hearts. We may not see the impact on others, but our dreams matter... those chances we take might not land us in the history books... but they do matter and we shouldn't be afraid to take the chances that God puts in front of us.
Time for us to be intentional about our lives! To be cliche... this isn't a dress rehearsal.
Have a blessed day!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Arguing with God, myself and inanimate objects...
Yesterday was a frustrating and somewhat miserable day... and I'm ok with that... kind of. I sat at work pouting about how frustrated and annoyed I was. I was frustrated by the lack of verbage coming forth to the pristine sheet of notebook paper in front of me. My pen hovered inches from the notebook, yet scribbled nothing... no words came, no interesting turn of phrase, nada (stupid pen)... so, last night, I relaxed, took the dog for a walk and thought. The two miles that I walked not only refreshed my brain (my thinking was that it was so cold that all the writer's block froze and crumbled away...), I was able to just breathe and enjoy a little one on one with God.
This morning as I write this, I am stil a little frustrated with myself, but much less than I was the day before... I am alert and focused, thanks to the two mile walk (I feel that mad props need to go to God on that one... it's way too cold for me to actually want to got for a walk, let alone a two mile jaunt around the neighborhood).
I don't know how many times that I have been in the very situation I was yesterday... frustrated, annoyed and banging my head against the rather imposing wall that is writers block... or, as I see it rather clearly now (I can see clearly now the rain is gone...... no? sorry) myself... I am my own writer's block. God gives me this amazing idea and then I try and make it all about my stupid pride and taking the mad props for myself... when I should be letting God write through me and giving all the glory to Him.
I started off this year with the words purpose and intention rattling around in my head and every part of my heart and soul are echoing those words... not my will but yours, I must decrease and you must increase.
Sunday at church, our pastors son spoke and as I listened, the thought that occured to me was this: The me I used to be is a lukewarm, afraid of commitment, head down so I won't get called on Christian... The me I want to be is fully and completely on fire for God... His love burning so brightly that all people can see is Him.
And as I thought about that, the imagery of The Hunger Games popped into my head... specifically the interview portion, where Katniss stands and spins revealing the flames that are a part of her dress... She was known as the girl on fire. I love that imagery that evokes... If I allow God to shine through my life, shape me into the me that I want to be (the me He sees and wants me to be), I will be the girl on fire... I am not afraid anymore...
As our pastor's son said on Sunday... we are all pregnant with potential... what we do with that potential is really up to us... will we use it for our glory or for God's glory? I know what my choice is... what will yours be?
This morning as I write this, I am stil a little frustrated with myself, but much less than I was the day before... I am alert and focused, thanks to the two mile walk (I feel that mad props need to go to God on that one... it's way too cold for me to actually want to got for a walk, let alone a two mile jaunt around the neighborhood).
I don't know how many times that I have been in the very situation I was yesterday... frustrated, annoyed and banging my head against the rather imposing wall that is writers block... or, as I see it rather clearly now (I can see clearly now the rain is gone...... no? sorry) myself... I am my own writer's block. God gives me this amazing idea and then I try and make it all about my stupid pride and taking the mad props for myself... when I should be letting God write through me and giving all the glory to Him.
I started off this year with the words purpose and intention rattling around in my head and every part of my heart and soul are echoing those words... not my will but yours, I must decrease and you must increase.
Sunday at church, our pastors son spoke and as I listened, the thought that occured to me was this: The me I used to be is a lukewarm, afraid of commitment, head down so I won't get called on Christian... The me I want to be is fully and completely on fire for God... His love burning so brightly that all people can see is Him.
And as I thought about that, the imagery of The Hunger Games popped into my head... specifically the interview portion, where Katniss stands and spins revealing the flames that are a part of her dress... She was known as the girl on fire. I love that imagery that evokes... If I allow God to shine through my life, shape me into the me that I want to be (the me He sees and wants me to be), I will be the girl on fire... I am not afraid anymore...
As our pastor's son said on Sunday... we are all pregnant with potential... what we do with that potential is really up to us... will we use it for our glory or for God's glory? I know what my choice is... what will yours be?
Friday, January 4, 2013
Do not let your fears choose your destiny...
I John 4:18 (AMP) reads: There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection].
Beginning two days ago on the second of January, I took the first shaking steps in pursuit of several dreams. This was first spurred on by a friends invitation to me to join The Kite Project. I was leery at first, in that, I wasn't sure I was ready to start that journey... and then I realized that I was getting comfortable in my fear and doubt. So, I signed up and the finger wringing began... what had I just done? What was I going to pursue? How in the world was I going to do this?
Question upon question begged at my mind for answers, pleading to email and take my name off the list... I kept moving forward with an open heart, ready to accept God's word at any time before this all started, because honestly... I was still stuck at the word dream. I knew kind of what I wanted to chase after, but I was unsure if it was really something that I was really passionate about.
*Photo is my own
I've always been one to overthink and then complain when I'd flounder without a true north to point me the direction that I needed to go. I am a firm believer that nothing happens without a purpose... I just have to be more intentional with my life. I identify most with Malcom Reynolds in the film Serenity where he states that he's got no rudder, if the wind blows Northerly, he goes that way... I've always felt like a drifter and a vagabond in search of that elusive dream and passion that everyone keeps talking about.
Before Christmas, I asked God to help me focus my wide spectrum of "the dream" to something a bit more managable... the first thing that came to mind was my lack of confidence... in myself as well as everything I do. The second was writing... specificallty two of the projects that I began a long time ago. The third, as I mentioned a little earlier is my need to be more intentional... I have a bad habit of starting a project and putting it down halfway through, and then never picking it back up again... I guess you could say that there is a little A.D.D. floating around in me somewhere. The fourth and final thing is to become a better communicator. I tend to trip over my words and edit a million times before I say what I actually want to say.
Embarking on The Kite Project has brought one word to mind that has plagued me around every corner of my life... fear... you know that rather unpleasant emotion that's caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm... yup, it's a tricky thing, fear... it will sidle up next to you, become your best friend and consume your life if you let it. Fear is like that one friend you have that will suck all the positive energy from the room and leave you feeling hopeless.
I John 4:18 was the verse that God gave me this morning to fight back that fear I was facing... Not the fear of failure, you see... but the fear of sitting idley by and watching those dreams go out the window and leave me behind entirely... This verse gave me the strength to tell my fear to scram... after all, full grown love turns fear out of doors...
I will not let my fear run my life or dictate my destiny any longer... and so I take the first shaking step toward the beautiful kite tails of my dreams by letting go of my fear.
Beginning two days ago on the second of January, I took the first shaking steps in pursuit of several dreams. This was first spurred on by a friends invitation to me to join The Kite Project. I was leery at first, in that, I wasn't sure I was ready to start that journey... and then I realized that I was getting comfortable in my fear and doubt. So, I signed up and the finger wringing began... what had I just done? What was I going to pursue? How in the world was I going to do this?
Question upon question begged at my mind for answers, pleading to email and take my name off the list... I kept moving forward with an open heart, ready to accept God's word at any time before this all started, because honestly... I was still stuck at the word dream. I knew kind of what I wanted to chase after, but I was unsure if it was really something that I was really passionate about.
*Photo is my own
I've always been one to overthink and then complain when I'd flounder without a true north to point me the direction that I needed to go. I am a firm believer that nothing happens without a purpose... I just have to be more intentional with my life. I identify most with Malcom Reynolds in the film Serenity where he states that he's got no rudder, if the wind blows Northerly, he goes that way... I've always felt like a drifter and a vagabond in search of that elusive dream and passion that everyone keeps talking about.
Before Christmas, I asked God to help me focus my wide spectrum of "the dream" to something a bit more managable... the first thing that came to mind was my lack of confidence... in myself as well as everything I do. The second was writing... specificallty two of the projects that I began a long time ago. The third, as I mentioned a little earlier is my need to be more intentional... I have a bad habit of starting a project and putting it down halfway through, and then never picking it back up again... I guess you could say that there is a little A.D.D. floating around in me somewhere. The fourth and final thing is to become a better communicator. I tend to trip over my words and edit a million times before I say what I actually want to say.
Embarking on The Kite Project has brought one word to mind that has plagued me around every corner of my life... fear... you know that rather unpleasant emotion that's caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm... yup, it's a tricky thing, fear... it will sidle up next to you, become your best friend and consume your life if you let it. Fear is like that one friend you have that will suck all the positive energy from the room and leave you feeling hopeless.
I John 4:18 was the verse that God gave me this morning to fight back that fear I was facing... Not the fear of failure, you see... but the fear of sitting idley by and watching those dreams go out the window and leave me behind entirely... This verse gave me the strength to tell my fear to scram... after all, full grown love turns fear out of doors...
I will not let my fear run my life or dictate my destiny any longer... and so I take the first shaking step toward the beautiful kite tails of my dreams by letting go of my fear.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
2013: A new outlook on life
After 31 years on this earth, I am finally beginning to feel at home in my own skin. Sure, I still compare myself to other people, get jealous of someones super awesome talent or mad writing skills... But as 2013 approached, I was overwhelmed with nostalgia. As I looked back over the whirlwind year that was 2012, I was amazed at how much God stretched me. Slowly, over the last few months of this past year, I began to feel less inclined to care what people thought of me and more about what God thought about me. Beginning 2012 by losing my job was a dent in the fender of my confidence that sprialed quickly downward... by the end of February I was ready to throw in the towel. I was tired, I was frustrated and I just wanted to quit... Then I had a talk with Stephen (my amazing hubby) and I was renewed... I was inspired to begin reading my Bible again, I even took a few days to fast and pray... When you ask God for help and renewal, be prepared to be radically blessed. It may not happen right away, but God's not in the business of ignoring us... we may have to be patient (and if you are like me, patience is not a strong suit) but a blessing is coming our way.
After a rough start, 2012 saw the completion of my first Bible Study... Life Lessons with Jane Austen: Persuasion... It also brought forth the startup of Reminder Cross Ministries... the Lord brought some great new friends into my life, a wonderful book group and an amazing new church that Stephen and I have been going for about a 7 months now.
2012 ended with a strong sense of thankfulness and the words intentional and purpose floating around in my mind (more about that later).
I feel as if I've been on cloud 9 these past few days... I've been excited to start writing again this year. I wish you blessings in this new year.
After a rough start, 2012 saw the completion of my first Bible Study... Life Lessons with Jane Austen: Persuasion... It also brought forth the startup of Reminder Cross Ministries... the Lord brought some great new friends into my life, a wonderful book group and an amazing new church that Stephen and I have been going for about a 7 months now.
2012 ended with a strong sense of thankfulness and the words intentional and purpose floating around in my mind (more about that later).
I feel as if I've been on cloud 9 these past few days... I've been excited to start writing again this year. I wish you blessings in this new year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)