Hidden

Your word I have hidden in my heart...

but where...

...where...

Where is it?

sleep eludes me and inspiration comes in riddles

Riddles in the dark... illuminated by my self doubt

The words spill forth like harbored tears for a lost friend.

Your word I have hidden in my heart...

words of trust, strength, and promise echo in my subconscious...

notating chapter and verse in my head...

words of truth bounce around in my soul... playing hide and seek with my conciousness.

What is my purpose?

Where is my place?

Your word I have hidden in my heart...

hidden so deep in my heart that I've lost their meaning...

The power that once swelled from within has been lost.

The words I treasured and revered, the words I knew by heart...

Your word I have hidden in my heart...

But where?

The question remains...

Where are they?

Where are they hidden?

I have no memory of this place...

my soul has locked away those precious words...

comfort and healing on the tip of my tongue taste bitter and metallic...

Your word I have hidden in my heart...

But Where?

Daydreams and wanderlust

This blog has been silent for three and a half months... mostly due to the hustle and bustle of various holidays and a crazy, unrelenting work schedule.
In this time, I have changed a lot about myself... for the better, I hope.
My husband has gotten me into a series of lectures called Ted Talks... they feature speakers in all areas and aspects of life. As I was watching one featuring a poet by the name of Billy Collins, he read a poem that stuck out to me... one that reflects how my brain has viewed writing as of lately...
BUDAPEST
by Billy Collins

My pen moves along the page
like the snout of a strange animal
shaped like a human arm
and dressed in the sleeve of a loose green sweater

I watch it sniffing the paper ceaselessly
intent as any forager that has nothing on its mind
but the grubs and insects
that will allow it to live another day

It wants only to be here tomorrow
dressed, perhaps, in the sleeve of a plaid shirt
nose pressed against the page
writing a few more dutyful lines

while I gaze out the window
and imagine Budapest
or some other city
where I have never been

I will hopefully be getting back into the blogging soon, as I have missed it... there is a strange longing and emptiness as I dutifully get up and head to work, knowing that my heart is at home or some cozy corner of the world, sitting in front of my computer... writing... but until that day, I must go about life. I am thankful for my life and my job, don't get me wrong... there is a part of me that thinks there is something awesome coming just around the corner... but I am impatient and want it now...
Psalm 46:10 has been echoing in my brain lately... be still and know that I am God... and the being still for me is the hardest part. spiritual wanderlust is setting in after the cold season of winter... so, here's to the new year, a new day and a time when I can be still and relax... new life, new growth, new adventures... Here's to an amazing 2014 (only a month late...)
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!